Conflicting Loyalties Chapter 1 by Sailor DracoSummary:
Rei has always been a good soldier. She is also a woman. Her duty and her heart war inside of her, each fighting for a part of her life. Which will win out? Please review! Rated:
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance, Suspense
Alternate Reality/What IfOriginally Published:
September 27, 2008
Rei was meditating in front of the fire, trying to clear her mind of the chaotic thoughts whirling within. After an hour of failure she sighed and reclined backwards, laying beside the fire. "Yuuichirou," she whispered, finally acknowledging her thoughts.
He was a problem. She didn't want to admit it but she had fallen in love with him. A battle between her heart and her duty raged within her- she was fiercely loyal to both. She starred at the ceiling, praying for strength and guidance. She had talked this out with the other senshi and still had no answer. Usagi's words echoed in her head "We all need love, Rei-chan. Don't deny yourself this lifetime--- live it to its fullest. We are more then just senshi, we are also women."
She wanted to follow that reasoning, but her duty pulled at her. How could she get married and have a family when there would always be battles to fight, enemies to defeat? It wasn't fair to subject that life to another person and a child. She ached for those things but she did not see how she could have them. She was loyal to her fellow senshi and would conduct her duty until the end. She sighed in frustration, resisting the urge to scream.
She heard the the door slide open, then close again. She sat up and saw Yuuichirou looking at her, intense emotions in his eyes.
"Rei, we need to talk," he said.
"I know," she said softly.
"I love you Rei, from the first moment I saw you. You know that," he said, holding up a hand to stop her protests. ''You've told me you love me. Then why can't we get married? Why can't we share a life together?"
"I've told you, I can't," she said as she tried to keep her voice steady.
"I know traditionally miko's stay virgins their whole lives, but most shrines don't keep that rule anymore. Thanks to your grandfather's training I'm becoming a priest-- we can run your family shrine together."
"It's not that. Believe me, that sounds like a happy dream. Sadly my life is something else. It would be a mistake to marry me. It wouldn't be fair to you."
"Isn't that for me to decide?" he demanded.
"I can't--" she started.
"Can't what? Tell me your a senshi?" he tried not to shout.
"How did you know?" she asked, shocked.
"It wasn't that hard, Rei. Contrary to how it may look, I'm not an idiot. You saved me twice. I know I was unconscious during the fighting, but it wasn't hard to piece together. You were there before and after, there are usually five senshi in town, and you plus your friends equals five. I know you're Sailor Mars. I don't mind that, it doesn't bother me."
He tried to hold her but she pulled back, tears running down her face.
"It bothers me!" she chocked out. "How can I bring you further into my life and endanger you? There are always battles to fight, enemies after my life! I won't cost you yours. And what about a child? How could I bring a child into that? How could I protect her and do my duty?"
"Rei," he said in awe.
He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. She let him as she cried silently.
"My life is yours," he said. "I'd rather have a life with you and die for it then to never hold you in my arms, or kiss you, or to never wake up with you besides me. I'm yours, Rei."
"What about the day when I'll have to leave you and go into a battle with the odds against us. My duty will always come first. Could you stand by and let me go to my death in battle? Could you stand that?" she nearly yelled.
She tried to pull away, but he only held her tighter.
"I love you Rei," he said. "I understand you're a senshi and that is your life. I would still rather be apart of that life then to never see you for the rest of mine. Whatever you need, I'll be. Isn't your life hard enough? Why add love to your sacrifices? I'm yours Rei."
She gave in, wrapping her arms around him. She didn't know how this would work with her senshi duties, but she know now that she had to try.
"I'll marry you," she said. "I love you."
He kissed her deeply, a kiss that she returned as her body answered him, yearning for his touch as much as he yearned for hers. She cried tears of joy.
Chapter End Notes:
The equivalents of Miko in Shinto are prophet, medium, priestess, nun, witch, or sorceress. Traditionally, Miko's were required to stay virgins. However, today that rule is often discarded.
See wikipedia for more information.